What is Counseling?
In order for counseling to be fruitful and successful, insha’Allah, the counselor and the counselee must have a mutual understanding as to what counseling is and what it is not. It is also important for the counselee to know what he or she can expect to achieve from counseling:
- It is a confidential relationship between counselor and counselee, based on the highest sense of mutual trust, respect and understanding.
- It is an educational process.
- It is a means to facilitate the decision-making process, to enhance personal development and potential, to encourage self-examination and deepen self-understanding.
- It is a means of prevention of problems and being proactive, as in premarital counseling.
- It is a means of improving the relationships in four areas: relationship with Allah
SWT, relationship with self; relationship with other people; relationship with the
creation/ environment. - It is an exploration of all the possible sources of conflict and emotional distress,
and a means of discovering ways and designing plans to remove or resolve
these issues. - It is an opportunity for the counselee, with the help of the counselor, to
identify and become keenly aware of misunderstandings and delusions about the
self and others; it is a way of taking an active role to reconstruct a healthy self-
perception. Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali wrote, “…Indeed, even the majority of
those who are righteous and thinkers in the kingdom of heaven and earth… are
deluded by blind perceptions that have been frozen in their souls and firmly
established in their hearts; and these have become barriers between them and the
right perception of realities.” (Ihya’a Uloom Al-Deen. Beirut, Lebanon: Darul Al-
Ma’arefah. V. # 3, P. 14). - It is an experience through which the counselee can acquire additional tools and
skills to successfully meet the challenges and stresses of daily life. - It is the chance for the counselee to identify meaningful goals for himself or
herself, and learn to work toward those goals with patience and perseverance to
achieve them.
What Does Not Constitute Counseling?
- It is not a forum for the counselor to judge or mediate between two or more
parties. - It is not a situation in which the counselor takes sides.
- It is not imposing upon the counselee any belief, perspective, or action.
- It is not a place for blaming or finding fault.
- It is not a passive experience, as the counselee must be ready and willing to
take action, apply what he/she learns, and strive for their articulated goals.
What Counseling/Therapy Approaches are Utilized?
As far as counseling/therapy approaches, there is no one approach which is suitable for every counseling situation. The most frequently used approaches are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, and Solution Focused Therapy. All of these approaches, within the framework of an Islamic model of counseling, are entryways into a deeper understanding of the self, and a more profound understanding and willingness to implement Islamic principles in everyday life.
How Many Sessions Does a Counselee Typically Need?
There is no standard answer to this question, because each individual brings unique challenges and resources to the counseling experience. Each counselee brings his or her own level of motivation and self-discipline to the process. The need for one session or an ongoing number of sessions is determined by the counselee him/her self. Ultimately, the length of counseling depends on the severity of the problem, as well as the commitment, seriousness, and perseverance of the counselee to work toward articulated goals.
For example, an individual who starts counseling to learn coping skills and eagerly learns and practices with the tools and techniques he/she acquires during the counseling sessions, may feel they have accomplished what they intended to accomplish in two sessions. Another individual may come to counseling looking to address a number of issues including depression and food addiction. They may do one session per week for eight weeks to accomplish their goals. A final example is a couple who comes to counseling because they are on the verge of divorce. They feel the need for two or three sessions a week at the beginning to stabilize their situation and feel that they are out of danger. Then they do one session a week for three months until their relationship is significantly improved and they have acquired the tools and skills necessary to proceed on their own in a healthy and productive way.
Thus, the counseling process can take a one session or an ongoing number of weekly sessions; it depends on the severity of issues and motivation which the counselee brings to the counseling process